My liver just broke up with me...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
