It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
