The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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