I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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