I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just tell him i said nine months
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
me + whiskey = a bad person
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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