Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
