my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think weed is turning my hair brown
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
