I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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