Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
