I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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