Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The air was thick with penises
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
