Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i think my mom watched the whole time
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize