Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
