Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
