it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish I only lived at night.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
