wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize