My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
