i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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