Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
