WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize