I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
