So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
