I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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