Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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