Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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