I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
