I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
