Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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