I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
