Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
