Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize