we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
