Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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