my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
