How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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