I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Enjoy the penises
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
