Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
