They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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