Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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