everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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