she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
