I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
