I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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