Sponge bath it is.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
