I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
