fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
