U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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