her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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