I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
