It's Friday. Sex?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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