i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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