i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
