pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
