He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it's like iHOP with fire
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
