no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
