yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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