If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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