the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize