Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
