Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
