I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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