Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
