I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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