i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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