shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
