Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
