Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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